I Don't Want To Be Just A Memory


Fellow members of the Berlin queer community mourn together the loss of their dead friends due to substance abuse and the mental health crisis as well as the loss of urban safe spaces in general. By sharing personal materials, stories, and honest criticism about the club scene, working on this film becomes a means of healing for this group of friends. Resembling glow-in-the-dark fungi, they radiate light together as a network of support and care, they transform dead bodies and memories into a collective structure that sustains future living.


  • Runtime

    20 min
  • Country

  • Year of Presentation

  • Year of Production

  • Director

    Sarnt Utamachote
  • Cast

    marum, René Bertune, Andre Fau, Katharina „Tinka“ Frommann, RTALIN, Andrei Mihu, Diana Kleimenova, Bráulio Bandeira
  • Production Company

    Nordic Media House
  • Berlinale Section

    Forum Expanded
  • Berlinale Category

    Experimental Film

dates of presentation

    1. Arsenal Cinema 1

      Potsdamer Str. 2
      10785 Berlin

    1. Cinema Betonhalle@Silent Green

      Gerichtstraße 35
      13347 Berlin

    1. Cubix 7

      Rathausstraße 1
      10178 Berlin

    2. Arsenal Cinema 2

      Potsdamer Str. 2
      10785 Berlin

    1. Kino International

      Karl-Marx-Allee 33
      10178 Berlin

Biography Sarnt Utamachote

Sarnt Utamachote is a Southeast Asian nonbinary filmmaker and curator based in Berlin. They believe that cinema can be a tool for social engagement and collective healing. They are a co-founder of un.thai.tled, an artist collective from the German-Thai diaspora, and have curated multiple research-based exhibitions concerning postcolonial histories, the Southeast Asian diaspora, and activism in divided Germany (GDR/FRG). They work as a film programmer at XPOSED Queer Film Festival Berlin, Hamburg International Short Film Festival, and at Sİnema Transtopia Berlin.

Filmography Sarnt Utamachote

2020 I Am Not Your Mother; video installation | 2020 Soy Sauce | 2022 Sonic Reverbs | 2024 I Don’t Want to Be Just a Memory